{strength for today and bright hope for tomorrow...

... blessings all mine, with then thousand beside}

Sometimes I approach God like those superhero cartoons approach their oddly omniscient leader... all gathering together standing in front of some big screen where they can see and hear, but not touch, the mastermind, ready to get the briefing before going out to save the world from whatever might be threatening everything that is good and right on that particular day. This morning was like that for me. "Ok God. I'm here. I've got my cape, my sassy spandex, my cute little superpowers, and a good attitude. Tell me what to do. Send me off. Don't you worry. I'll get things put back together in no time."

Then God did something that completely threw me. He stepped out of the big flat screen and moved towards me while pulling me in all in the same motion. And he said this:

"Learn to laugh at yourself more freely. Don't take yourself or your circumstances so seriously. Relax and know that I am God with you. When you desire My will above all else, life becomes much less threatening. Stop trying to monitor My responsibilities--things that are beyond your control. Find freedom by accepting the boundaries of your domain. Laughter lightens your load and lifts your heart into heavenly places. Your laughter rises to heaven and blends with angelic melodies of praise. Just as parents delight in the laughter of their children, so I delight in hearing My children laugh. I rejoice when you trust Me enough to enjoy your life lightheartedly. Do not miss the Joy of My Presence by carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders. Rather, take My yoke upon you and learn from Me. My yoke is comfortable and pleasant; My burden is light and easily borne."
(Sarah Young, Jesus Calling)

Oh snap. Reflecting back, I see how it could be easy to almost take those words as an insult... as a threat to our hard earned self assurance. I think today I just feel still. I'm actually smiling because I am picturing a sweetie pie little girl in a resourcefully designed superhero costume just standing, mouth open, head tilted up, too taken by the magnificence in front of her to realize that she's dropped her teddy-bear-side-kick... that she's literally melting into God's words to her.

God continues:

"You are my beloved child. I chose you before the foundation of the world, to walk with Me along paths designed uniquely for you. Concentrate on keeping in step with Me, instead of trying to anticipate My plans for you. If you trust that My plans are to prosper you and not to harm you, you can relax and enjoy the present moment. Your hope and future are rooted in heaven, where eternal ecstasy awaits you. Nothing can rob you of your inheritance of unimaginable riches and well-being.  Sometimes I grant you glimpses of your glorious future, to encourage you and spur you on. But your main focus should be staying close to Me. I set the pace in keeping with your needs and My purposes."
(Sarah Young, Jesus Calling)

My mind is sort of magnetizing back to this one picture in my head... a picture of an actual picture :) that my dad has used numerous times in past sermons. It's a picture of my dad holding mine and my older sister's hands, one of us on either side of him, as we walk down a beach. Andrea is probably about 6, which would make me about 3. We've got our little rain jackets on, and the weather looks a little bit damp and cloudy. My mom captured the perfect moment with the camera--which should come as no shock... she's amazing with cameras amongst other things. My dad's stature is big and strong...the kind of size that could overpower our little bodies... yet the way he is holding our hands you can tell we were all walking together with ease. Andrea and I are almost hopping... partly so our little legs could keep up with daddio, and partly because we were feeling so free. I love it... love love love it.

There is a part of my heart that has been so resistant to walk this way with God. I guess I can see how that particular stubbornness has developed. Yet even given the list of all the little rationales, I am sitting here today with a persistent thought: "I didn't realize... I didn't realize I was living in bondage, I thought I was living free. This is the power of the gospel- that by the blood of Jesus we have been invited to walk closely with Abba daddy... having a heart that is freed up to be delighted and giggly, even on a big and potentially threatening beach... confident that he is holding me tight, smiling so big."

It is in this space with the Lord that I am most accurately perceiving who God is, who I am, and my experiences/circumstances. I think it is in this space that a profound and uninhibited trust in God's faithfulness is harvested... being so saturated in the freedom of being present to Him that we could be in  Hebrews 11:31-35a or a Hebrews 11:35b-38 and be authentically worshipping God, thanking Him for His faithfulness. Oh I want my heart to stay in that space.

This morning I woke up and had a text from my mom reminding me of what happened 10 years ago today. Surprisingly, my heart response wasn't very pronounced or intense. I didn't feel sad or mad or empty or afraid. Those thoughts didn't even have an inch of mental space to occupy. I was thinking about her warrior heart... her strength and beauty that somehow permeated the chaos. She was thinking about me...my courageous heart. My soul started to sing:

Great is Thy faithfulness, O God my Father
there is no shadow of turning with Thee
Thou changest not, Thy compassions they fail not
as Thou hast been Thou forever wilt be






the sun is out. and i'm melting into Him.