love and pride can't occupy the same spaces baby, only one makes you free

I am so struck with this line from a Sara Groves song I listened to this morning. Actually, I've been softened by every word of every Sara Groves I've listened to today. Something about that lady... it's like we're having a conversation through her words. I think a secret wish of mine is to sit down with her for a cup of coffee and ask her to tell me her story. It's obvious from her music that she has one. 

Loving a person just the way they are, it's no small thing
It takes some time to see things through
Sometimes things change, sometimes we're waiting
We need grace either way

Hold on to me
I'll hold on to you
Let's find out the beauty of seeing things through

There's a lot of pain in reaching out and trying
It's a vulnerable place to be
Love and pride can't occupy the same spaces baby
Only one makes you free

Hold on to me
I'll hold on to you
Let's find out the beauty of seeing things through

If we go looking for offense
We're going to find it
If we go looking for real love
We're going to find it 


Loving a person just the way they are, that's no small thing
That's the whole thing
Loving me just the way I am, it's no small thing
Takes some time, takes some time, takes some time, takes some time 


Yes, yes, yes, yes, and yes. And amen. 


What is it about this song that gets at me? What is it pressing in on? What does it teach me about the human condition? What does it reveal to me about Father God? 


To answer question #1, I think it's the honesty about pain put in relationship with loving surrender, mutual commitment, and hope. How can that be? How can one be faced with the throbbing pain of life and still want to intimately know another human being? Doesn't it seem like running into the same brick wall over and over again, expecting to not get hurt? Isn't that a picture of insanity? That seems to be the message of the world; either that or "pain? What pain? Get over yourself." Something different is presented here... it completely messes with my paradigm of relationships. This leads into the answer to #2- these words press in on my "rules" that I subconsciously live by: i.e. loving deeply is stupid insanity, lasting devotion does not exist outside of blood relatives, give 'till it hurts because that's what good Christians girls do but don't you dare ask for anything in return. Yeesh. That is... um... quite defeating. 


Question #3: Maybe this is a human dilemma. Our souls are created for this kind of loving commitment that Mrs. Groves has written about. We long for someone to say, "I love you just the way you are. I want to life with you, and experience the deep blessing of seeing things through... with YOU." Any evangelical *** will tell you that God is the only one that can fill this longing. Well, of course. But is it really supposed to end there? If so, why would God have designed relationship? Why not just create Adam? Why would Jesus pursue people during his time on earth? Why would he call disciples? Why would he have an inner circle? Why would he establish the Church? Why would Peter and Paul call Jew and Gentile to get together and work out their differences to worship together? Because there is something about human relationships that is key- it is designed by God with purpose and intent. We long for authentic human connection because we were made for it. Covenant human love is exactly the sign of the Kingdom- loving people, as they are- big messes. That is something the world can not accomplish. It is only accomplished on the foundation of Jesus Christ. That leads into the answer of #4. My God calls me into covenant relationship with him where he loves me just the way I am. He is patient with me while I figure it out, and actively engages my heart. Furthermore, he has designed me, as well as sends me, to live out this relationship with those in my sphere of influence. The more I grow, the more I realize that this is not an option for my life- it is a calling. Where and with whom is still up for grabs. But those are just details. 


What does Sara sing at the end?
"Takes some time, takes some time, takes some time, takes some time." 




*** beep beep beep. this just in. word on the street (in an email from my dad) is that this could be misunderstood. There tend to be phrases or concepts that are limited to certain groups within Christianity. Psychosocially speaking, semantics is part of culture/subculture. Within the Global Church, I would say that evangelicals more than others use concepts like "God is the only one who can fill the void" to hide from true, hard, complex community.